What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Sure no problem officer.

What sets porcini mushrooms apart from other types of mushrooms, such as button mushrooms?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Can you share 100 facts about yourself?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

{RING} {RING}

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Why can't ugly women date hot guys? I know a woman who wants a hot BF but people would just laugh at her and ask her "what can you bring to the table for him?", isn't that messed up?

Yes sir it is.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

After a few moments he returns.

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Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Why do we exist, and why are we conscious?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

HELLO